


A Page From My Book

by VividDayDreamer



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/F, Feelings, Heartache, Loss, POV First Person, Pain, Relationship(s), Sanvers - Freeform, Sorrow, anguish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 14:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21138185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VividDayDreamer/pseuds/VividDayDreamer
Summary: As a friend, you sit with Alex quietly, watching her nurse that glass of whiskey in her hand, with tear stained cheeks and watery eyes, and a voice that sounds so vulnerable.  She's hurting.  She's slumped over a table at some dive bar you followed her to, not wanting her to be alone.Alex talks to you about her first experience with finally finding someone she wanted to be with, only to have it crumble in her hands...





	A Page From My Book

**Author's Note:**

>   

> 
> **WARNING: Angsty. Not a happy ending.**
> 
>   

> 
>   


The faint memory of her, brought the kind of sadness that burned my eyes until they were sore, and caused pain in my heart that was one of the most painful things I've EVER felt. This sounds so cheesy, but it's real. It was heavy, and crushing and it... it broke me. I cried for days. I still cry most days. I cry every time I remember her.

  


But how can I not when this... this wonderful, amazing, generous, sexy woman comes strolling into my life, showing me what true happiness could feel like. We laugh like friends do one day, then the next, we're kissing. Then came that passion, that... that desire that I never expected to get swept up into. 

  


I was hers and she was mine.

  


Feeling and sharing that intimacy... That was real. That was... so intense. And then she always did these romantic things for me, always supporting me and... god did I never think I'd become like one of those people in Kara's romance movies. But, I was. I felt so deeply for her. I wanted to be everything for her, sacrifice myself for her, do anything to make her happy.

  


But that wasn't enough. Fate... fate's a bitch sometimes. It pulled us in separate directions when all we wanted to do was be together. My heart called out to her, and hers to mine but...

  


** *Laughs in a self-depreciating manner***

  


That wasn't enough. 

  


You ever played with those extra strong magnets? Like, stupidly strong? You know, the kind that's practically wielded together and you have to dig your nails in between them to try and pry them apart? The kind where your fingers are sore from working so hard to do it? 

  


We were those magnets. We held onto each other. Depended on each other. Needed each other. Wanted each other.

  


Ride or die....

  


We thought it was ride. We thought we could just live on, pretending that there wasn't this... this... monster of a burden hanging over our heads that we knew we'd have to face one day. We thought we could just enjoy that deep, affectionate connection we had, for as long as we could. We didn't want it to end. **I** didn't want it to end. But fate... that bitch tore us apart...

  


And here I am, crying over another glass of whiskey, because it just hurts so goddamn much and I want it to stop.

  


I miss her... So much.

  


I won't deny that. She'll always, always have a place in my heart.

  


Fuck...

  


***Takes a sip of her drink, then shakes her head***

  


I remember a few days before everything went to shit, we... I felt so incredibly happy. So happy. I was feeling so lucky that she'd taken me on an impromptu date to a museum. I like art, not like how a connoisseur enjoys art, but just... seeing the beauty of what people put their hearts into creating. And I don't know jack about history on a good day. I'm good with science, but history... well... that leaves more to be desired.

  


***Takes a sip from her glass***

  


But, that didn't stop me from loving what I saw there, and experiencing all that wonder with her by my side. Maybe I saw the world through heart eyes...

  


  


***Laughs mockingly at self***

  


Yea, I do sound like Kara's cheesy romance movies. 

  


We spent the next day, for hours together. Talking about tv shows and characters, of food and... I honestly don't know what else. We felt like we could talk forever, and we kinda did. We then cooked dinner together that night for the first time. Everything came so easy... Everything seemed so normal, like it was supposed to be like that. As if it was like she was supposed to just BE here. WITH me. Like THAT. 

  


There was supposed to be so many more days of enjoying "US".

  


We both took time off and I thought of how great it would be to FINALLY be able to spend time together without disruption. And it started out great, you know? And then... something happened. Some words were said, some past feelings got dug up, some... triggering thoughts and words, and it just... it just took us down a dark path that I didn't see coming. We were so good. So good. And then, it all went so, incredibly, heart wrenchingly bad.

  


***Takes another sip of her drink***

  


It was that monster of a burden that came tumbling out, and we HAD to address it.

  


***Shakes her head as she stares down into her glass***

  


And now I'm alone. A decision was made. Fate's hand deftly played, leaving two broken people in its wake. 

  


** *Throws back the rest of her whiskey***

  


Fuck fate.

  


I hate it. I hate it so much.

  


***Stares at her empty glass...***

  


I just... I miss her...

  


***Looks up into your eyes, tears pooling, hers puffy and red, and there's so much hurt behind them***

  


How do I come back from that?...

  



End file.
